It's a Process. . .

We have now lived in this house for 7 years and we are still trying to get everything the way we want it. For some time now, we have debated on whether to make the move from a queen-sized to a king-sized bed and, as often happens in life, the decision was sort of made for us.

My husband works in the bedding industry and was gifted this Christmas with a king-sized mattress set of the variety that allows you to adjust each side to your own liking. They said that it would be easy to assemble - that should have been the first red flag.

Assembling the bed was very much like a scavenger hunt - we were told to open Foundation Box #1 and Foundation Box #2 completely and follow the directions for assembling the foundation (no box springs on this puppy). So, R and I strode confidently into the garage, only to see that there were 2 boxes of Foundation #1 and one box of Foundation #2; however, we are not ones to question. We hefted all three boxes inside and unpacked them. With great confidence, we followed the pictoral instructions on the lid of Box 2 (because there was NO instruction book). We put together the side rails, only to discover that there were four side rails and, because we are intelligent, college-educated people, we observed that a bed only has TWO sides. We began a philosophical discussion as to how the different elements might fit together and the only conclusion we came to was that we each had a different philosphy.

We decided that moment to take a break (not from our 34-year marriage, although we both were considering it). I left for an hour to visit my mother and R retreated to his recliner with a glass of iced tea. When I returned, we nodded curtly in each other's direction and returned to the scene of the crime.

Suddenly, a look of inspiration flashed across my husband's face and he began scrambling through the wreckage, pulling parts off here and inserting them into other parts with the deftness of a Swiss watchmaker. He had clearly received an epiphany. He calmly instructed me to assist him by handing him parts, one by one, until we had 2 perfectly formed twin beds. He then looked at me in wide-eyed wonder and said, "A king sized bed is the size of 2 twin beds." I knew that.

We then hauled in the remaining boxes, quickly covering the foundation and laying in the sides for the inflatable part of the mattress (contained in the final box). Guess what? There were written instructions contained in the SIXTH AND FINAL BOX.

So, we settled in for a long winter's nap in our new, king-sized bed. And now, if I get a little aggravated at him, I'll just grab that little remote and deflate his side.