My mom passed away and I just don't know how I feel.
I am an only child, and was much loved by my parents. My mother doted on me, cherished me, criticized me, pushed me and did all the things that parents do - at least those who love their kids and want them to turn out right.
Mom was a paradox. She was intelligent and attractive and I thought that there was nothing she couldn't do. She could quilt, crochet and sew anything, and she made the best jellies and apple butter you ever tasted. Yet there was always an underlying discontent in her soul and I don't think that she was ever truly happy; but she loved my dad, she loved me, she loved my husband and she absolutely adored our children.
In 2002 we learned that she had Alzheimer's disease and we watched her deteriorate before our very eyes. The mother who had loved me so much no longer recognized me; in fact, she reached the point where she hit and kicked at me when I came to visit because it just didn't make sense to her who I was or why I was there.
God gives us little gifts, though. On Tuesday, her caregiver (she lived in a personal care home) called and told me that Mom had suffered a seizure and that she suspected that she had pneumonia. I went over to see Mom; she was sitting on a sofa with an oxygen machine attached to her and I could see that she was very ill. She looked intently at me, then put one finger to her lips, kissed it, and blew it to me. That's the last real communication we had.
This afternoon, the caregiver called and said that Mom was declining rapidly and suggested that I gather the family together, which I did. Three hours after I arrived I was stroking her face and telling her how much I loved her when her breathing slowed, and then stopped. All I could say was, "She doesn't have Alzheimer's any more."
I know that she has reunited with my father and the rest of her family and that she is now standing in the presence of God. She is whole and she is sane and, at long last, she is happy.
Rest in peace Mom. I'll always love you and I look forward to the day when we will see each other again.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
It's a Process. . .
We have now lived in this house for 7 years and we are still trying to get everything the way we want it. For some time now, we have debated on whether to make the move from a queen-sized to a king-sized bed and, as often happens in life, the decision was sort of made for us.
My husband works in the bedding industry and was gifted this Christmas with a king-sized mattress set of the variety that allows you to adjust each side to your own liking. They said that it would be easy to assemble - that should have been the first red flag.
Assembling the bed was very much like a scavenger hunt - we were told to open Foundation Box #1 and Foundation Box #2 completely and follow the directions for assembling the foundation (no box springs on this puppy). So, R and I strode confidently into the garage, only to see that there were 2 boxes of Foundation #1 and one box of Foundation #2; however, we are not ones to question. We hefted all three boxes inside and unpacked them. With great confidence, we followed the pictoral instructions on the lid of Box 2 (because there was NO instruction book). We put together the side rails, only to discover that there were four side rails and, because we are intelligent, college-educated people, we observed that a bed only has TWO sides. We began a philosophical discussion as to how the different elements might fit together and the only conclusion we came to was that we each had a different philosphy.
We decided that moment to take a break (not from our 34-year marriage, although we both were considering it). I left for an hour to visit my mother and R retreated to his recliner with a glass of iced tea. When I returned, we nodded curtly in each other's direction and returned to the scene of the crime.
Suddenly, a look of inspiration flashed across my husband's face and he began scrambling through the wreckage, pulling parts off here and inserting them into other parts with the deftness of a Swiss watchmaker. He had clearly received an epiphany. He calmly instructed me to assist him by handing him parts, one by one, until we had 2 perfectly formed twin beds. He then looked at me in wide-eyed wonder and said, "A king sized bed is the size of 2 twin beds." I knew that.
We then hauled in the remaining boxes, quickly covering the foundation and laying in the sides for the inflatable part of the mattress (contained in the final box). Guess what? There were written instructions contained in the SIXTH AND FINAL BOX.
So, we settled in for a long winter's nap in our new, king-sized bed. And now, if I get a little aggravated at him, I'll just grab that little remote and deflate his side.
My husband works in the bedding industry and was gifted this Christmas with a king-sized mattress set of the variety that allows you to adjust each side to your own liking. They said that it would be easy to assemble - that should have been the first red flag.
Assembling the bed was very much like a scavenger hunt - we were told to open Foundation Box #1 and Foundation Box #2 completely and follow the directions for assembling the foundation (no box springs on this puppy). So, R and I strode confidently into the garage, only to see that there were 2 boxes of Foundation #1 and one box of Foundation #2; however, we are not ones to question. We hefted all three boxes inside and unpacked them. With great confidence, we followed the pictoral instructions on the lid of Box 2 (because there was NO instruction book). We put together the side rails, only to discover that there were four side rails and, because we are intelligent, college-educated people, we observed that a bed only has TWO sides. We began a philosophical discussion as to how the different elements might fit together and the only conclusion we came to was that we each had a different philosphy.
We decided that moment to take a break (not from our 34-year marriage, although we both were considering it). I left for an hour to visit my mother and R retreated to his recliner with a glass of iced tea. When I returned, we nodded curtly in each other's direction and returned to the scene of the crime.
Suddenly, a look of inspiration flashed across my husband's face and he began scrambling through the wreckage, pulling parts off here and inserting them into other parts with the deftness of a Swiss watchmaker. He had clearly received an epiphany. He calmly instructed me to assist him by handing him parts, one by one, until we had 2 perfectly formed twin beds. He then looked at me in wide-eyed wonder and said, "A king sized bed is the size of 2 twin beds." I knew that.
We then hauled in the remaining boxes, quickly covering the foundation and laying in the sides for the inflatable part of the mattress (contained in the final box). Guess what? There were written instructions contained in the SIXTH AND FINAL BOX.
So, we settled in for a long winter's nap in our new, king-sized bed. And now, if I get a little aggravated at him, I'll just grab that little remote and deflate his side.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Auld Lang Syne
Here we are at the end of another year, a full decade since the fear and trepidation with which we approached "Y2K." New Year's Eve has always had an effect on me; it used to be that I hated it because it seemed that all the year's hard work was erased and it was time to start all over again. Now it's the chance to start all over again that gives me hope.
As I take stock of 2009 as it applied to my life, a lot of stuff happened - a lot of difficult stuff, sad stuff, painful stuff - but if I'm honest with myself, each "bad" thing revealed something good. Difficulty bred courage and ingenuity. Sadness and pain revealed the kindness and love that surrounded us and gave us cause to be thankful. Behind it all lay the reality that our lives and times are in the hands of the One who gives us courage, opens His arms to us and lavishes us with His love - both in the hard times and the good times.
As I face a new year, I step out in faith that the God who knows the number of the hairs on my head knows the number of my days and that, in His unfailing wisdom and love, He also knows the plans He has for me - and they are for good. I need only to listen, to trust and to obey.
I can't wait to see what He has in store.
Grace, peace and blessings to you in 2010.
As I take stock of 2009 as it applied to my life, a lot of stuff happened - a lot of difficult stuff, sad stuff, painful stuff - but if I'm honest with myself, each "bad" thing revealed something good. Difficulty bred courage and ingenuity. Sadness and pain revealed the kindness and love that surrounded us and gave us cause to be thankful. Behind it all lay the reality that our lives and times are in the hands of the One who gives us courage, opens His arms to us and lavishes us with His love - both in the hard times and the good times.
As I face a new year, I step out in faith that the God who knows the number of the hairs on my head knows the number of my days and that, in His unfailing wisdom and love, He also knows the plans He has for me - and they are for good. I need only to listen, to trust and to obey.
I can't wait to see what He has in store.
Grace, peace and blessings to you in 2010.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friends - Best Friends!
I was raised an Air Force brat, and my daddy used to try to ease the pain of moving by telling me, "You don't make friends - you only make acquaintances." I spent most of my life living by that; however, now that I'm in the second half of the game, I have to disagree. And maybe there was some truth to what Daddy said. I think that, when we're younger, we don't place as much value or put as much energy into friendship as we do when we get older - or realize what it really means.
I have a wonderful group of girlfriends. These are people who laugh with me, cry with me, empathize, sympathize and - when the occasion calls for it - set me straight. We are honest with each other, support each other, and love each other in a way that I, as an only child, can only imagine that sisters would do. They are an eclectic bunch, as different as night and day, but they are all precious to me.
One is so like me in some ways that it's positively scary, yet different in many other ways. This is the person who "gets" me more than anyone else and we have an uncanny way of reading each other's minds. She has an aura of childlike innocence combined with a sassy sense of humor, and the sweetest personality of anyone I've ever known.
Another is loud and brassy, opinionated and passionate about everything from her relationships to her work and anything else that is a part of her life. She can have you belly laughing one minute and crying the next; and she will storm the gates of hell for you in prayer when you have a need.
One has the tenderest and most compassionate heart of anyone I have ever known and will not only get up in the middle of the night to listen if you need her to, but she'll also pull out the Kleenex and cry with you. She will give of herself until there's nothing left to give, then she'll dig down deep and give some more.
The fourth is a woman with a past who has been redeemed by Christ and has the strongest faith of anyone I've ever met. She won't stop praying for someone until after they've been embalmed and will kick you in the fanny if she thinks you've given up, but she is funny, thoughtful and loves lavishly.
I know that these women would do anything for me and they know that I'd do anything for them, and I'm just so grateful that I have them in my life.
In the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes, Mrs. Threadgoode says to Evelyn, "I found out what the secret to life is: Friends. Best Friends." I have to agree.
I have a wonderful group of girlfriends. These are people who laugh with me, cry with me, empathize, sympathize and - when the occasion calls for it - set me straight. We are honest with each other, support each other, and love each other in a way that I, as an only child, can only imagine that sisters would do. They are an eclectic bunch, as different as night and day, but they are all precious to me.
One is so like me in some ways that it's positively scary, yet different in many other ways. This is the person who "gets" me more than anyone else and we have an uncanny way of reading each other's minds. She has an aura of childlike innocence combined with a sassy sense of humor, and the sweetest personality of anyone I've ever known.
Another is loud and brassy, opinionated and passionate about everything from her relationships to her work and anything else that is a part of her life. She can have you belly laughing one minute and crying the next; and she will storm the gates of hell for you in prayer when you have a need.
One has the tenderest and most compassionate heart of anyone I have ever known and will not only get up in the middle of the night to listen if you need her to, but she'll also pull out the Kleenex and cry with you. She will give of herself until there's nothing left to give, then she'll dig down deep and give some more.
The fourth is a woman with a past who has been redeemed by Christ and has the strongest faith of anyone I've ever met. She won't stop praying for someone until after they've been embalmed and will kick you in the fanny if she thinks you've given up, but she is funny, thoughtful and loves lavishly.
I know that these women would do anything for me and they know that I'd do anything for them, and I'm just so grateful that I have them in my life.
In the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes, Mrs. Threadgoode says to Evelyn, "I found out what the secret to life is: Friends. Best Friends." I have to agree.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Merry Christmas, Anyway!
A prevalent sentiment this year seems to be that we're just not feeling Christmas. I'll admit that I've shared in that sentiment, too; and I've decided that, if I'm not "feeling" it, it's nobody's fault but my own.
What are we seeking? Isn't it that warm, fuzzy feeling of contentment that Christmas engenders? Well, we can have that folks. It just doesn't come wrapped in paper or decorated with tinsel. We simply have to choose to celebrate. I'm not talking about denial or seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. Things are tough right now - tougher than they have been in most of our lifetimes. People are out of work, the economy stinks and life is hectic. It's easy to get caught up in the negatives, but that's where we have to rearrange our priorities. In the immortal words of Roger Miller, "You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to."
What is Christmas? It's the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He came so that we may have life in abundance. We simply fail too often to accept the gift. He didn't say that we would have smooth sailing, carefree lives on this earth; He did say that we can have eternal life and that we can set our hearts on treasures that moth and rust cannot destroy and that thieves cannot steal.
I have a family and I am blessed with friends. I can rejoice that I have these precious people in my life to love and care for. It doesn't matter whether I can or cannot give material gifts; I can give them my time, a listening ear, a helping hand, an encouraging word. The more I share myself with others, the warmer the glow from inside, until I find that the fires are rekindled and, once again, it's Christmas. The more I choose to be joyful, the more joyful I feel - and it's contagious.
Merry Christmas, y'all - from my heart.
What are we seeking? Isn't it that warm, fuzzy feeling of contentment that Christmas engenders? Well, we can have that folks. It just doesn't come wrapped in paper or decorated with tinsel. We simply have to choose to celebrate. I'm not talking about denial or seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. Things are tough right now - tougher than they have been in most of our lifetimes. People are out of work, the economy stinks and life is hectic. It's easy to get caught up in the negatives, but that's where we have to rearrange our priorities. In the immortal words of Roger Miller, "You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to."
What is Christmas? It's the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He came so that we may have life in abundance. We simply fail too often to accept the gift. He didn't say that we would have smooth sailing, carefree lives on this earth; He did say that we can have eternal life and that we can set our hearts on treasures that moth and rust cannot destroy and that thieves cannot steal.
I have a family and I am blessed with friends. I can rejoice that I have these precious people in my life to love and care for. It doesn't matter whether I can or cannot give material gifts; I can give them my time, a listening ear, a helping hand, an encouraging word. The more I share myself with others, the warmer the glow from inside, until I find that the fires are rekindled and, once again, it's Christmas. The more I choose to be joyful, the more joyful I feel - and it's contagious.
Merry Christmas, y'all - from my heart.
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Wall Against Hunger - World Food Programme
How much time do we spend in mindless online activity? Speaking for myself. . .sometimes, way too much. This morning I saw a report that I want to share - the World Food Programme has come up with a great concept: There are billions of posts to Facebook, My Space, Twitter, blogs, etc., so why not put them to good use?
They have created a site to help feed the hungry, the concept being that a billion people online can feed a billion people who are starving. For only 25 cents a day you can feed a child. That's only $50 per year to help save a human being's life. You can go to the Wall Against Hunger and, if you wish, post the photo of someone in whose honor you would like to donate; make your donation, and send that person an e-card. What a wonderful gift - both to the person in whose honor you have made the donation and to the person who is fed.
Please click on the link below and check out the site - and spread the word!
The Wall Against Hunger - World Food Programme The Wall Against Hunger - World Food Programme
They have created a site to help feed the hungry, the concept being that a billion people online can feed a billion people who are starving. For only 25 cents a day you can feed a child. That's only $50 per year to help save a human being's life. You can go to the Wall Against Hunger and, if you wish, post the photo of someone in whose honor you would like to donate; make your donation, and send that person an e-card. What a wonderful gift - both to the person in whose honor you have made the donation and to the person who is fed.
Please click on the link below and check out the site - and spread the word!
The Wall Against Hunger - World Food Programme The Wall Against Hunger - World Food Programme
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thankfulness
Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with how blessed I am.
I have a roof over my head, food and clothing, a healthy and loving family and blessings beyond measure. I often take these things for granted and every now and then God brings me up short and causes me to see how much I truly have to be thankful for. This past week our local Christian radio station did a fundraiser for the people of Haiti. As I listened to the plight of these people who live not so very far away, I was appalled at what I heard. Mothers are so desperate to feed their children that they make "cookies" from dirt just to give them something to fill their stomachs. Yes, dirt.
It puts all of our problems in perspective, doesn't it? We are so fortunate to live in a country where folks may be poor, but our level of poverty (for the most part) doesn't begin to compare to what others in this world are facing every day.
As we approach this Christmas, let's remember those who truly are less fortunate. And do what we can to help. And never, never take what we have for granted.
I have a roof over my head, food and clothing, a healthy and loving family and blessings beyond measure. I often take these things for granted and every now and then God brings me up short and causes me to see how much I truly have to be thankful for. This past week our local Christian radio station did a fundraiser for the people of Haiti. As I listened to the plight of these people who live not so very far away, I was appalled at what I heard. Mothers are so desperate to feed their children that they make "cookies" from dirt just to give them something to fill their stomachs. Yes, dirt.
It puts all of our problems in perspective, doesn't it? We are so fortunate to live in a country where folks may be poor, but our level of poverty (for the most part) doesn't begin to compare to what others in this world are facing every day.
As we approach this Christmas, let's remember those who truly are less fortunate. And do what we can to help. And never, never take what we have for granted.
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